kali pornia

i want to be more like the ocean. no talking and all action.

Monday, June 05, 2006

alright alright...

enough with the damn drama.
the boy and i exchanged some very harsh words on friday morning and it was NOT pretty. i was not proud of the way i conducted myself. we could both feel this coming for months and had decided on thursday night that it would be best for him to move out.

friday morning we started talking and we were not so nice. i live in an old white trash section of baltimore called hampden and thank god they're used to screaming matches. though, i imagine that my new neighbor, miss college girl, got quite the earful at 7:00am when i was screaming "you're crazy" and "get the fuck out of my house!"

see? not very nice. you should know, that i was not the only one yelling horrible things, though that is certainly no excuse for my behavior. mostly, like i say, i was mad at myself for letting my anger get so out of hand. i had been deliberately measured in my actions, and i thought we might get away from the situation like well behaved adults.


so... he's out. we have since exchanged apologies and tried to take back that mean stuff (tho can you really ever?) that we said.

realtionships have never been my strongpoint. i mean i've had TONs of them, but nothing successful. this is the best i've conducted myself in a breakup yet. hard to believe but true.

usually i just cheat. then it's over. then i've got another relationship to jump to, forget the old onto the new!! ya ok so i'm SICK! obviously. but getting better. this time i've done nothing exceptional to disgrace myself. (with the obvious exception of a half an hour friday morning)

so, onward and upward. the boy and i will still talk and date, but the constant fighting has past. it feels like i can breathe again, so it must be the right thing.


tomorrow is the big day