WTF am i like 82 years old or something?

alright so not only am i having a colonoscopy
on march the 29th
but i went to the other doctor
on monday
and he says i need another surgery.
fine.
the other doctor said i would need
two proceedures. that's no big surprize.

so the second doctor tells me about
the second "proceedure"
which will be done under general anesthesia.
fine.

he says "i'll be there the day of the colonoscopy
why don't we try to schedule both in one day?"

fine.
whatever.
get it over with in one day.

then he leaves the office to go to the hospital
and i go out to schedule the "proceedure" with ruth.

so i tell her what he says about the scheduling
and she says
"do you think that's smart both in one day?
you can't eat or drink anything for either
so that would be a whole day without even water..."

i kindly (maybe not so) tell her that i'm not the doctor and i've never even ever had surgery and the only reason i suggested it is because the fucking doctor told me to try and schedule them both on the same day.

my god is this boring you?

see i have to do this "prep kit" thingy the day before the colonoscopy. it effectively flushes me out. lots of fluid no eating some clear liquid but nothing after midnight.

so ruth tentatively schedules it for another day and says she'll call me the next day after she talks to the doctor to see if i should do both in one day. of course she doesn't call the next day she calls the following morning which was this morning.

she says that yes, the doctor thinks it would be okay for me to do both proceedures in one day. (which, if you're keeping score, is what i told her TWO FUCKING DAYS AGO.)

fine.
whatever.

we hang up and then i think of a couple questions i forgot to ask so i call back and get a machine and leave a message saying please call me ruth i forgot i have a couple of questions like when and where is my pre-op and how soon can i go back to work and how come i have to ask these questions it seems like something i should know having sat with the doctor for 30 minutes and ruth for another 30 after waiting for an hour in the lobby?????

does she call me back? nope. so i call her back but she's home she got sick and the lady asks what i need and i ask when is my pre-op and she says "oh don't worry ruth will call you when she has that set up" oh ok, ruth's on it i feel so much better.

oh ya, by the way, i say... the colonoscopy guy said i could go back to work the next day after the colonoscopy, how about after this "proceedure"? can i go back to work the next day?

then she laughed
and called me "sweetie"

these are not good signs...