i am going to lose my fucking mind over this shit

i'm having serious friend issues (not with her -- just inside me)

its her birthday today and she asked her boyfriend for a "coach bag" for her birthday and he got it for her. he just sold his guitar so they could pay rent and she asked him for a coach bag for her birthday??????

the kicker is.... when i asked him why the hell she wanted a coach bag he said "well, [her other friend] just got one for her birthday" -- FORGET the fact that [her other friend] is dating this guy who is in college and hasn't worked as long as i've known him and his parents just bought him a FUCKING house and i guess they must've bought her the damn purse that costs $250 too....

and i know it's me there are so many issues... i hate rich people???

and by the way did you know that my parents are building a half a million dollar house on the eastern shore of virginia??? what is wrong with me?

i hate that my friend is changing and wants all this nice stuff i never knew she was like that and i'm starting not to like the person that she is becoming... the wedding, the coach purse the new job the new clothes...

why do i feel this crap??? is it really that i hate myself for being privileged? can it be that simple?

but my parents don't do that. they don't want designer stuff... they're not stereotypically rich like that. i NEVER wanted for anything, don't get me wrong, but i'm not asking for a freaking coach bag for my birthday.

do i think this makes me better than her? do i get off on feeling superior? am i just as bad as her? or am i jealous? do i really want a coach bag?

man, i have got some serious issues about rich people. i started writing a list of resentments and didn't even put rich people on it. i did put los angeles. because if a person can have a resentment against a place then i SURE DO. for all the same reasons as what's bothering me about my friend right now.

ok enough. really sorry to lay it all on ya. i'm really hurting about it. i know it's me. i just want it to stop.