moment of clarity

so last night southie called as i was walking to get something to eat.

"i'm going to get something to eat and then watch a DVD or something, wanna go?"

he was two blocks away so it seemed like the right thing to do.

we went to his house, grabbed a pork roast and a movie (y tu mama tambien -- fucking brilliant by the way) and were off to my apartment.

my roommate wasn't home... his was.




so he started the pork and then sat on the couch and we watched the movie.

i finished the meal and brought it out and all that.

i don't really mind doing nice stuff for people -- i just like to act like i hate it so they don't expect too much.

so we eat, watch a great movie and he falls asleep.

and i hate him for it.

and i now know that i just want sex.

that's all i wanted and i didn't get it.

i mean the conversation's nice. being with someone is okay.

but i just really wanted the sex.

maybe it was the movie.