kali pornia

i want to be more like the ocean. no talking and all action.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

is it over yet?

fuck everything.

fuck kalipornia.
fuck my low paying stressful job.
fuck the creditors.
fuck my ex-boyfriend who just sent me an email that i can't stop crying over.
fuck me because i asked for it.
fuck riding the fucking bike in the fucking cold.
fuck trying to find something to do with my life.
fuck my fucking 3rd mid-life crisis at 32.
fuck hating the girl who says she's incomplete without the man she loves.
fuck becoming that fucking girl.
fuck having everything you've hoped would happen ripped right out from under you.
fuck my sister with her happy ass family and career and husband.
fuck everybody who's happy.
fuck the nice girl living with the love of my life fucking him everyday.
fuck me for fucking it up in the first place.
fuck him.
fuck falling for some stupid shit from a fucking alcoholic that i would have a fucking job here.
fuck coming back to kalipornia when i fucking knew i hated it.
fuck running from everything when it gets too hard.
fuck people with jobs they like.
fuck people with jobs they hate.
fuck my fucking college degree that i thought meant something.
fuck you for wanting to help.
fuck you for ignoring me.
fuck me for feeling superior.
fuck being so fucking stupid.
fuck the west coast.
fuck the east coast.
fuck everybody.
fuck living.
fuck dying.
fuck crying.
fuck you.
fuck me.