kali pornia

i want to be more like the ocean. no talking and all action.

Monday, June 26, 2006

10 things girls should know about getting a boy off

this weekend there was much perusal of the boy's list.

turtle had his day. he covered the shit that boys really think.

what follows now is my list. ladies, i never thought i would share some of these secrets so use them wisely. with great power comes great responsibility
1. easy, nibbler - (by consensus) - some dudes say absolutely no teeth, some dudes say a little is fine... so the rule of thumb should be extreme caution and open conversation. (seriously, gals this seems to be the top of the concern list for men, so we're fucking up out there...)

2. we must revisit the spit, here - lubrication is key no matter what the act.

3. use both hands - it's fun to slide them opposite ways on the same shaft. (use the spit to your advantage, here) lots of constant motion is very very good. don't be afraid to slide all the way off the head and then back on.

4. easy on the head - as a general rule, the bigger the penis, the more sensitive the brain. motion on the head can be used sparingly but with great results. (think:clit)

5. talk dirty - seriously, this can be your greatest tool. sure, it's embarrassing at first, but goddammit, it works. tell them they have a great cock. tell them how hard it is. tell them when and where to cum. i'm telling you, it works.

6. don't show boredom or frustration - that's not hot. it will only make your job harder in the long run.

7. don't be afraid of the balls - as long as your boy practices good hygiene there is nothing to fear here. cup the balls with a free hand, massage them, and if you are very comfortable then by all means suck on them. pull them all the way into your mouth, one at a time or together if you're brave. (this is how i got most of my sex slaves)

8. lick necks - i have found that back of necks, jawlines and adam's apples produce marvelous results when licked, sucked and slid around on.

9. boys like the 69 - yes it's true. generally boys like the 69. yes i know the sit-on-my-face trick is somewhat embarrassing and being eaten out while sucking a cock is a bit distracting, but they really seem to like it. try new positions, like lying on your sides facing each other, if that's more comfortable to you.

10. watch porn together - it's really fun to get into. yes, yes, i know -- we girls are not visual people by nature, but THEY ARE. boys tend to like fucking scenes and head scenes (two girls on one cock is very popular) but you might like the girl on girl action yourself. give it a shot, find out what you like and don't be ashamed.