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i want to be more like the ocean. no talking and all action.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

lest you be left with the thought that i don't love my family...

my grandmother was a queen. she was a strong willed woman with an opinion way before that was in vogue. she was a model, a secretary, a church founder, a wife, a mother, and a caretaker.

my grandfather (rest his soul) had 2 heart attacks in his forties. she nursed him back to health, moved her whole life to florida at an early age so that her husband could live out the rest of his 83 years.

once he had recovered, they traveled all over the country in a holiday rambler. my grandparents lived in florida but were present for every single christmas. we'd see them at the very least twice a year. they were the most kind, loving, giving people i've ever had the opportunity to know.

and right until the end she was a pisser. dispensing sex advice and shopping tips from her last hospital bed.

my dad, her son, is the smartest man i know. and i don't say that flippantly. a peabody graduate that can play nearly every instrument known to man. when he wanted to go to peabody, he found a scholarship. and when he wanted his true love, my mother, to go there too? well then he found her a scholarship as well.

he played stand up bass in jazz bands at clubs while my mom sat in the back and did his homework. eventually he gave up his dreams of becoming a professional musician so that he could start a family.

when my sister and i were young he was the housefather while my mom went back to school to get her masters degree. he drove me to the bus stop every morning and waited for the bus with me. all while becoming one of the most successful and well-loved insurance agents in maryland. he put both his children through private school and then college. he worked sometimes 80 hour work weeks and had the most loyal clients because they knew he was one of the only honest men in the business.

he was a provider in the true sense of the word. men these days could learn a thing or seven thousand from this man.

and women could learn a great deal from my mother. i always say that my mother is a saint. and god bless her she is. she keeps us all together. i have always known, every minute of every day, that i was loved by my mother. and she has been the rock that holds my dad together. keeps a clean nice house without being obsessed by it. doesn't care for decorating yet always managed to have a comfy home.

she has one of the most beautiful singing voices i have ever heard. she has perfect pitch. perfect fucking pitch, people!! tell her to sing an e flat in the second octave and she'll be right the fuck on unless the piano you're testing her with is out of tune. i shit you not.

she has been quietly spiritual her whole life. centered in god's love but not pushy about it. you'd never even know that her father was a presbyterian minister if you didn't ask her. she has that quiet calm air about her that is sometimes confused with shyness. she can comfort a sick child like no one else.

and then you have my sister. wow. let me start by telling you that she's been sending out christmas cards since she was 15. she's the most organized, neat person i have ever met. her handwriting is perfect. she has a way of taking care of things that is so matter of fact that the crisis is over before you can even blink. she is giving without wanting or needing the credit for it.

she married a widower with three kids. three fucking kids, people. two boys and a girl. she stepped in and raised those children as if they were her own, because, well, they are. i know their mother is looking down and thanking the god lord for finding her husband a woman like my sister. i can't think of any other 20 something better equipped or suited to do what she did.

even today, she gives of herself without pomp or circumstance. she sees things that need to be done and does them. she is a gift. and i can't begin to tell you how glad i am that she is back in my life.

cuz let me tell you, i can bullshit myself, i can bullshit my mom and my dad. but there's no bulhshitting the sister. she's that good.

guess which one's mine...