some observations

1. death makes me lonely

2. i underestimated my mommom right up until the day she chose to die.

3. not having a boyfriend to take to a funeral makes me feel like a failure.

4. saying i love you over and over to an ip address on the screen is not healthy.

5. dad deals with death by drinking and listening to cuban defectors playing hammond b3s at these-go-to-eleven volumes.

6. my sister is on a mission to uncover the facts by any means necessary. and if you can show her where your feelings are she has a bandaid for them.


7. mom lies about dad's availability on the phone like an old champ.

8. having the family together again was JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.

9. i will be staying with my friend jan in florida. my other choices were a hotel room with my sister, her husband, and 3 of her 4 kids or my grandmother's old condo with my mom and dad. thank god for jan.

10. the racontuers song together was written to me. and i am now living to learn and learning to live. the sunset will be ready in 2 years. (with a 6 month margin for error)

11. i got new socks and new slippers. the new socks are my dead grandmothers. apparently i have some weird sock issues.