kali pornia

i want to be more like the ocean. no talking and all action.

Thursday, January 13, 2005


in other unrelated coinkeydinks...

instapunk and hog on ice each have some musings about the state (or motives) of feminism.

my view tends to parallel hers.

oh yeah..

if you're here from tony's site and expect to find pictures of me and karisa having naked pillow fights...

no dice.

we're not posting those pictures anywhere.

b-more fo sho

enough with the fucking goodbye posts already.

jayzu fucking chreesto, wadami supposed to cry or something?


so i fly outta here on sunday. should post maybe twice or so before then. then i'm without computer so it's catch as catch can at internet cafes and houses of friends.

interesting that anti has a post about home. (no i won't miss the traffic)
and bicyclemark too.

good timing. i can't wait to feel like i'm home again.

can't wait to drive up charles street and see the ecletic group of homeless, rich, suit-and-tie, racially mixed, street punks, yuppies, and drunks.

can't wait to stop by my favorite tattoo parlors and beg for a free homecoming tattoo. (it could work.)

can't wait to see my fucking dog.

can't wait to freeze my fucking ass off and complain about it the whole time.

can't wait to smoke INSIDE!!!

and most of all

i can't wait to see my friends. who i somehow took for granted.

but don't you worry bloggerville. i'll be taking y'all with me.

(and i'll probably bitch about living there about a month into it and you can remind me of just how fucking badly i needed to get home. )

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

auf wiedersehen

see ya, roomie
thanks for letting me hang with your friends
if i wasn't so damn proud
i would've claimed you
and them
as my own
and enjoyed my time here.

ta ta, kaliporniapoo
aka lizrocks
you're way cooler
than you give yourself credit for.

bye-bye, kansas
thanks for the catfish sandwich
remember the rule:
never date a stripper.

adios, tony
i met you before i knew
how to blog
(but you changed all that)
you were just doing laundry
i didn't know you was famous.

i found you through moxie
at around the same time i moved in
oddly enough
i didn't know you was you

farewell, moxie
it was nice to meet you
at the yacht party
through another small degree
of separation.

who knew we had so much in common?
a lot of things
maybe just one thing too many.

good riddance, southie
hope you find your

and so long, cameraman
i think i'll miss you the most
who knows what could've been
if i weren't in love
with someone else
somewhere else
in some other time.
see you on tour
with the who.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

i love boys

my friend mark sent me his recipe for orange chocolate chip sugar cookies.

fucking phenominal.

i just love the way you can tell he's a straight boy baking. tell me if this doesn't crack you up. (and i quote):


ok cookie recipe.

1 c shortening
6oz cream cheese, softened (I find 40 seconds in the micro softens it perfectly)
1/2 c sugar, granulated
1/2 c brown sugar, packed
2 eggs, large
2 ts orange peel, grated (I zest it, and use two oranges)
1 ts vanilla
2 c flour, unbleached (whatever. bleached)
2 ts baking powder (do not substitute baking soda. trust me.)
1 ts salt
6 oz chocoloate chips (I use more...)

cream together shortening, cheese, and sugars. add eggs, peel, and vanilla. beat well. stir together flour, baking powder, and salt. add to creamed mixture. mix well. stir in chocolate chips. drop from teaspoon two inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. bake at 350 degrees F about 10 minutes. I wait until you can see the bottoms browning then wait a couple more minutes depending on how thick they are. you'll get a feel for them.


more things i'll miss about kalipornia...

4. fish tacos on venice beach
5. hot wings on melrose
6. walking over the stars on the way to the bus stop.

7. the troubadour

Monday, January 10, 2005

file under "random"

i just told my boss i was quitting.

his response:

"what if we get married?"

hhheeeeeeyyyyy vato...

i rode the motorbike to work today.

doesn't sound so unusual, except that on mornings like these. i usually take the bus. it was raining pretty hard. and there are little rivers on the sides of every road.

but as i was walking out of my house with every intention of walking to the bus stop, i decided fuck it.

fuck it. i'll get wet walking to the bus stop, waiting for the bus... or i'll get wet riding the bike. which sounds like more fun?

yeah, so i went back inside, ditched the umbrella, and grabbed my helmet.

i had to get gas. the guy there said "i hope you're not going far..."

"i am. this fucking rocks i love it."

"you're psycho"

i was really just trying to convince myself that it did rock. and i think it worked.

it was fun. like a video game fun. until i got here to sun valley. huge rivers and puddles at intersections.

vatos love playing in puddles with their cars that they don't care about and little ol' me that they don't even think about.

the walls of water were a little scary. i got a little mouthy. oh well.

so i'm here and it's all good.

today i tell the boss that i quit. friday's my last day.

P.S. bicyclemark -- i did end up getting some pretty good raingear. my friend carson let me borrow his... pants and a jacket. it did pretty well at 60mph.

Friday, January 07, 2005

throwin' in the towel

things i will miss about los angeles:


no, really, once i get started it'll just flow right out.

ok, so let's get started here...

kidding, i'm KIDDING.

there are things i'll miss:

1. my roommate.

god only knows how i got so lucky. a great pad with a pool and laundry facilities in the h-wood at a reasonable price that also came with the coolest roommate in town. i have a favorite thing to say about my roommate, and it goes something like this, "there are about 10 cool people in helLA, and k----- is one of them... the other 9 are her friends."

2. my friend mark.

oddly enough, he was one of two friends i had in LA the last time i lived here and hated it. he sold me back the motorcycle that we sold him (well, traded for a bass amp) when we left. he sold it to me for $800 and let me have it before i could pay him any money. i've only paid him $500. and guess who's buying it back?

we saw some fucking great shows in '04 here in kali. top three?

In Flames

(let me not forget to mention that not only did mark pay for my slayer ticket because i am dirt poor, he also treated to filet mignon at the coolest 24 hour steak restaurant in downtown LA. and wasn't embarrassed by the rich people staring at me in my miniskirt/fishnet/tubesock/motorcycle boots combo.)

3. my favorite baby's birth.

in leaving town at this time, i will miss the birth of what is sure to be my favorite baby. my great friend sharyn and her husband (who let me sleep on their couch for 2 fucking months when i first came to town) are pregnant. just about 4 months now. i will hate not being available to babysit for sharyn. she is the nicest, most together person i have ever met. her husband doug farts a lot and i love him too. sharyn is the 2nd friend i had in town when i left the last time.

... to be continued...

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

is it over yet?

fuck everything.

fuck kalipornia.
fuck my low paying stressful job.
fuck the creditors.
fuck my ex-boyfriend who just sent me an email that i can't stop crying over.
fuck me because i asked for it.
fuck riding the fucking bike in the fucking cold.
fuck trying to find something to do with my life.
fuck my fucking 3rd mid-life crisis at 32.
fuck hating the girl who says she's incomplete without the man she loves.
fuck becoming that fucking girl.
fuck having everything you've hoped would happen ripped right out from under you.
fuck my sister with her happy ass family and career and husband.
fuck everybody who's happy.
fuck the nice girl living with the love of my life fucking him everyday.
fuck me for fucking it up in the first place.
fuck him.
fuck falling for some stupid shit from a fucking alcoholic that i would have a fucking job here.
fuck coming back to kalipornia when i fucking knew i hated it.
fuck running from everything when it gets too hard.
fuck people with jobs they like.
fuck people with jobs they hate.
fuck my fucking college degree that i thought meant something.
fuck you for wanting to help.
fuck you for ignoring me.
fuck me for feeling superior.
fuck being so fucking stupid.
fuck the west coast.
fuck the east coast.
fuck everybody.
fuck living.
fuck dying.
fuck crying.
fuck you.
fuck me.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

it sucks riding on mulholand drive when its wet.

i can't speed, i can't manuever, i can't fucking stop when i want to.

it makes me no better than cars... maybe worse. their fours points of friction compared to my two.

what's the fucking point of driving a motorcycle if i can't blur past cars?

i feel like a complete pussy.

i'm stayin' off that god damned road 'til it stops raining.