kali pornia

i want to be more like the ocean. no talking and all action.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007


Tuesday, January 30, 2007

oh and by the way fuck the new version of blogger

i hate change. and i hate the way they make me feel like a loser every time they ask me "change to the NEW blogger?" or "sign in to the old blogger?"

i'm old school, bitches! even if is it harder and less intuitive. heh

that reminds me of a rant of an old friend of mine. he used to get all pissed about how streamlined bicycles had become. his point was that if the purpose of a bike was to get exercise, then the shittier the bike, the more exercise. so why were the "top riders" all about the sleek, light bikes? wouldn't it follow that the best bikers would be able to ride heavy pieces of shit up huge hills?


so i freaked out on my first night of class again this semester. it's crazy how fast i can go from full of vim and vigor to quit. so i dropped one class and am just taking the one this semester. i figure new relationship, still fairly new in recovery, new job... maybe this is the semester to take only one class.

my boss says "darn you'll just have to stay longer."

see when i interviewed he asked me how long i could stay (did i tell you this?) and i was very proud and happy and still sorta scared to say "three years" and mean it. (because my job is paying for grad school and it's going to take me about 3 years to get through the program given their yearly cap on tuition remission) i mean shit i've never done anything for three years straight much less promised that i would stay at a job that long. not even lying my ass off did i dare to dream i'd do something for three years. then come to find out that it was his only concern in hiring me. that i would only stay for three years. ONLY? jeez louize if he only knew what a fucking commitment that was.

but alas he hired me and is happy to hear now that i am taking it extra slow this semester. funny.

oh ya soon i'll tell you about the day i gave the bird to one of my other bosses. and just how much he didn't appreciate it. said sarcastically about me "we sure do hire class around here don't we?"

me and my fucking sense of humor. whoops.

oh ya p.s. you guys make me laugh out loud. especially you, shawna, miss "both my kids got straight a's"!!! (congrats!)

Monday, January 29, 2007

man has it really been that long

i hate when people make excuses for not blogging
kinda like i used to hate when people talked about quitting smoking.
until i quit smoking.
so here i am not blogging

i have this job now that's a job. my days fly by like the day that riki rachtman showed up with full sleeves tattooed on mtv.
i mean one day he was just a long hair
then they gave him headbangers ball
he smelled success so the next fucking day he had full sleeves.
ok it might not've happened exactly like that but you feel me.

so ya i'm not making much more money than before but i feel important and that's half the battle right?
i'm assistant to the head of operations at a huge university.
the head of operations is like the main dude. the main blue collar dude anyway. only he's not blue collar anymore 'cuz he's the dude.

and the dude is a nice guy. very low maintenance and trusting. he hires great people and then lets them do their job. dude is cool.

(holy crap matt just came out of the shower claiming that he's getting old and needs an ear hair trimmer, then he turns toward me and he has this huge clump of hair coming out of his ear -- it's my hair that falls out during conditioning!!! GROSS! i put in on the wall in the shower to hold it until i'm done showering only sometimes i forget and it stays ther for a day or five. is that gross? which part?)

so ya new boss rocks new job is fun right now. stressful sometimes but fun!

oh ya and i've finally come to believe that PMS is real. i fucking hate myself for saying that i really do but i swear i'm a fucking monster when will this stop?

ok that might be it for now. i love and miss you all i really do.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

conscious fucking conscience

ya i'm new job girl very busy no blog time at work... i used to be able to pull it off without guilt at the old place very little work but here not so much very busy bee.

had a bad day yesterday did something dumb i could tell you about it later...

i'm dropping digits over at FTTW today. (mom do yourself a favor and don't read that one)

also wow a lot going on at home internet is coming on sunday then i can blog from home and tell you all about how my new boyfriend is moving in yes i know it screams too soon but you can't wait to hear about it.

Friday, January 05, 2007

so here's the glockenspiel...

ok let's see if i can do this any justice at all...

about a year and a half ago maybe more
i saw a boy who looked very familiar. like i know you from somewhere familiar. he felt the same and said as much. we've both been around baltimore forever and it makes sense that we would've seen each other somewhere before but this was a different kind of familiar can't describe it but when i look at his hands i recognize them.

anywho i thought hey that boy is cute but i was wrapped in my own self imposed crisis so we became friends. he's a very social boy and has lots of friends and a lot of those friends are female and so it was just very easy to become friends.

one day he saved me from myself. we hung out at a festival most of the day. he liked my dogs. he likes all dogs. and let me just say here that ALL DOGS like him. and i don't know about you that is a VERY GOOD SIGN but i am giving away too much here.

so we stay friends he watches me go through the hell that was my breakup and the growth following. we stay friends. he helps me with my dogs, walks them when i have class at nights. he does the days that murl can't. so i have him over for dinner a couple of times to thank him. he's a single guy i can't imagine that he eats well at home.

the months continue we find our similar backgrounds and taste in music and we are friends like laugh annoying loudly friends and just not care. like that friend that you can be ALL OF YOURSELF in front of and they don't care love you anyway let go free falling fun. like my friend MURL. like well like a friend. can i explain this too much?

we drive to philly as a foursome friends all of us to the mutter museaum and to see american hardcore because of course it can't be playing anywhere close.

during this time he asks about my dogs having puppies because he thinks maybe he'd like a little dog this time around... then a mutual friend says "hey does anyone want a dog? i have to give it away we just had a kid and it's all too much" he says "what kind of a dog is it" dude says " a miniature dachshund" he says "i'll take it."

the next day i get a text "i've got someone i want you to meet."

she's a beautiful little mini-dox named elsie and my boy dog is in love with her.

so i'm over his house seeing elsie he is playing music i know everysong and love it some shit i haven't heard in a long time...

and he goes in to his kitchen to get something.

and i watch him go.

i am staring at his ass...

Thursday, January 04, 2007

the dude on the right with the cheesiest grin

is my friend gerry.

a week ago i sat next to him at a meeting.
he said that he liked my necklace.

i said "thanks, my daddy gave it to me."

he said "oh ya? i gave that to you? nice."

(yes i left my self wide open for that one)

two nights ago gerry OD'ed

almost forgot to tell you..

don't forget i'm over there today!!!

other than that i'm stuffing envelopes grateful to be able to do so but busy busy bee am i... start new job for more money on monday!!

still so sickeningly in love you should hate me for it...

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

is it boring when i'm happy?

i started this blog on a tear.

i hated living in los angeles. hated hated hated it. now is not the time to discuss why. the place is, uh... ah fuck it's just not for me is all...

so i was full of rage and it was an election year and i was surrounded by liberals. jeez and when i say liberals it has this bad connotation. because i used to be a dyed in the wool feminist liberal. never a hippy but a punk rock white dude is the man kinda liberal. until. well, until i realized that my dad IS the man. so i grew up and found out that doing the thing that looks nice and helpful isn't always the right thing. and then i started to think politically. and i found that i'm pretty conservative when it comes to politics. then i learned to keep my mouth shut about politics in bloggerland because, well... hmm. i guess because i like all of you and the overwhelming lot of you seem to be liberal.

i don't know. i love my country. i tear up at the national anthem and when i'm at the ravens games i sing along to "proud to be an american." even though it's a retched melody. i am so proud to be an american. george bush is my president. shit, when he was elected (the first time) i didn't think i'd agree with him half as much as i did in those first four years. since then i have not agreed with everything he's done, and sometimes i downright disagree. but calling him a murderer when we are at war is and will always be trashy. i dunno. he's the president. he puts a suit on everytime he goes into the oval office. everytime. a suit. so much different than getting a blow job in there.
jeez louise how did i get here? i meant this to be a post about how happy i am. how amazingly happy i am and excited for the new year.

i was going to warn you that this blog might get boring because i've become content. and content? well content doesn't sell newspapers.

i'm starting a new job soon. hopefully monday. i'll tell you all about it when i start. that could be some fun fodder.

also i begin work on my sixth step soon. that could be a doozy. i hear that some relationships don't survive the six step. that could be interesting.

so the drama of the day? uh. i need to go grocery shopping?
skeletor and her groceries.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

with a QUICKNESS SORry i didn't mean to yell the caps lock went on when i tried to type q...

ok so here's a catch up recap brought to you by MOI (that time i meant it)

(that's a foto frum down undah thanks, yorrik)

job: my position has been extended for two weeks because my boss found a "project" that needs my "attention" don't be dirty it is just a database update, that he found needed to be done before i left conveniently enough the two weeks will keep me on while another department does the final paperwork in order to be able to offer me a job...

(that's sid sars he's a legend)

see what happened there? i was going to be laid off for a week and then re-hired in a new department meaning i would lose my benefits for a week and then have to be re=entered into the system blah blah red tape hell... but my boss urgently NEEDS this database update that will require my attention for two weeks or until i find other employment hint hint wink wink HOW FUCKING NICE IS THAT?!??!??!! people take care of me even when i don't ask them to...

(that shot is auntie abby's she rocks)

blog: i have taken all my pics and programs off this computer because as of friday i was no longer going to be working here so i will steal other people's pictures while i'm in computer limbo.

i'm also thinking of buying a wireless pc card so that i can reach the wireless router in my second home next door that i don't happen to own is this making any sense to you??? it did to the guy at best buy who told me he couldn't help me steal wireless but could tell me how far certain cards could pick up a signal from. lacking sentence structure rocks the grad school degree. point being: i could maybe blog from home soon woot! (ha! i said woot)

(those are the wades they rock go figure out how to listen to/watch them)

new year: happy new year ravens won i love my family and their kids and dogs and my new boyfriend rocks the fucking bells i love him mucho CLUTCH was fucking awesome even though the security guard took away my florida ID thinking that it was fake AHAHA who would make a fake id saying you were 34 bwahahaha. he was like "you can go in but you can't drink" bwahahahah OH NO I CAN"T DRINK??? THE BALTIMORE CITY POLICE DEPARTMENT THANKS YOU. heh. also someone should remind me that i'm 34 the next time i spend 3/4 of the show in the pit and get a scraped knee and black eye, mmkay?

love you all talk soon buh bye.